Friday, December 26, 2008

White Christmas

Dear Mr. Al Gore,

A "white Christmas" never happened in SoCal, all during the time I lived there. On the other hand, you should come here to Land-In-Between, where we had it, and not only did we have it, we had it in spades. Our whole town looks snowed-in and buried. And our snow shovels dug and dug, moving snow from here to there. But today, a break in the weather finally came (see picture), and the Sun, long forgotten, showed its face once again, making the winter a little less bleak. And the roads are plowed enough to be passable, and people are moving about, shopping for after-Christmas bargains. But I must confess, Mr. Gore, that I am a little disappointed in the "Global Warming" you promised everybody. Other than providing you with a Nobel Prize, it has had little benefit for us here. But I know you are a generous man, so please share more of your benefits with us. A little warm air would be great. Thanks.

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Go Home Californians

Here in Land-In-Between, the Idaho panhandle, the winter is now coming close to breaking the all-time 1915 record for snowfall. My life has been wasting away with neverending snow shoveling, and the roofers who I hired have just left after clearing off my roof, so I can be ready for the next snowstorm without worrying that my roof will cave in. It took four young, strong guys almost a hour, and my roof isn't all that big. My house now looks like it sits in the midst of a glacier. There's no way I could have shoveled the roof even if I wanted — I'm too old and tired out.

It's been brutal. Where is all the "Global Warming" we were promised? I'm beginning to think it's all a bunch of hooey. I hope the Chicoms start building more coal-fired power plants and start spewing more carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. We need it a little warmer around here. The polar bears can go drown for all I care, although I think they're smarter than that and will eventually hybridize back with the grizzly bear population.

If this winter doesn't make all the Californians who came here pack up and leave, nothing will.